Weeds Begone!

My neighbor V is at it again.... within the last couple of days, we have seen her walking around the nearby streets on a weed mission. Yesterday, V was carrying a huge Hefty bag, and a long-handled tree-trimmer. This afternoon, she had a small hand-sized clipper and a small trash bag.

I think she's disappointed that she's had to "travel" to find some good weeds. Our lawn service men finished weeding our front flower-beds, and filled all the beds with cypress mulch. Everything looks nice and tidy..... the flowers are thriving and blooming again, I've rearranged the garden ornaments, and poor V can't find a weed in our front yard. Hence, she's been roaming the streets on a weed search.

This evening when I went out the front door to walk Gracie, there was V standing on our front lawn, clippers in one hand, the other hand on her hips, shaking her head and tsk-tsking as she stared into the mulched beds. I couldn't resist, so I asked her: "Well, what's the matter with my flower-beds now?"

"You don't have any weeds left for me anymore!"

"Is that why we've seen you walking the streets with trash bags and garden tools? Are you looking for weeds now in other yards?"

"Well, if your lawn guys had left some weeds for me, I wouldn't have been forced to look in strange yards."

This makes perfect sense to V, and to anyone who knows her. I told her that I needed to walk Gracie, so she came with us. As we walked, V was holding the hand-clippers in her right hand, and I was walking on her right side. As she talked, the hand-clippers became her exclamation point and I had to keep moving away so I wouldn't have a slash mark on the left side of my face. I finally told her we needed to switch sides so I wouldn't be in the path of her hand-clippers.

As we were walking, V's youngest daughter drove by, honked her horn, pulled up to the curb and told her mother that she was on her way home to change clothes but then she's going right out again to pick up her friends and she'd see her sometime "before midnight, give or take." Then off she drove, leaving V and I staring after her daughter's car which barely came to a complete stop as that one-sided conversation took place.

"You see... (said V) .... that's why I need weeds to pull."

I came home with Gracie and hugged each one of my cats. At least they don't go out at night and come back "before midnight, give or take."