Breathe In.... Breathe Out....

Sometimes the easiest thing to do becomes the most impossible. I went to the hospital to see our friend F today... she's still in the ICU. Still hooked up to oxygen.

Today, however, the oxygen machine is forcing air into her lungs so she doesn't have to exert herself by breathing on her own. She was unable to speak, but she knew I was there and she knew who I was. In fact, as I stood there talking to her, she began to play Charades with me, trying to get me to guess what she wanted to say.

She held up three fingers. Three words? She nodded her head.

She held up one finger. First word? She nodded.

F pointed to her eyes. You? I? She nodded at the "I."

F pointed to her chest. Ribs? Would you like some barbequed ribs? She shook her fist at me.

I got serious.... Heart? She nodded.

Love? said I. She nodded. I didn't need her to go further.

You love me. Is that what you're telling me? F grabbed my hand.

"I love you too," I told her. And I held onto her wrist, which seemed so much thinner than the other day, and I put my face on the top of her head and just let my tears fall into her hair. I must have stayed right there in that position for ten minutes or so. When I lifted myself up, F's eyes were closed and the machine was forcing air in... air out... air in... air out.

I have six words for everyone today. Don't smoke. DON'T smoke. DON'T SMOKE!!!!!!