Peacock? No. Raccoon? Yes.

We haven't seen Carson (the peacock) since yesterday. We have indeed heard him, and his mating calls sound as if they're coming from down our hill, which means Carson went back to his original owners. He probably missed all the chickens and roosters down there. (Birds of a feather stick together?)  For now, our porch is free of peacock-poop, and once again, our outside cats (the orange cat included) have free run of the yard.  I think the cats were intimidated by the size of Carson. Huge bird he was.... and not to be trifled with. I would imagine that the talons on that peacock would have bested the longest claws of our cats.

So... with the peacock out of the picture.... in comes a raccoon last night who destroyed one of two bird feeders that are in the backyard. I also made the mistake of leaving a bit of cat food out on the porch after dark, thinking that either Gatsby or the orange cat would eat it before midnight. Apparently, they didn't, and the raccoon overturned both the plastic cat food dish and the metal water bowl. Raccoons always make such a mess.

Either before or after devouring the last bits of Meow Mix, the raccoon decided to tackle (literally) the bird feeder, which is on top of a wooden post.  He broke one of the plexi-glass sides of the feeder, bent the fence back a bit, and lost one of the bungee-cords that held the top of the feeder down tight. And, of course, the raccoon feasted on the birdseed.

So now my husband is on a mission. He spent most of the morning watching videos on YouTube to see how other country people manage to keep the raccoons out of the backyard feeders. Thankfully, no one on YouTube has launched a grenade attack.

Off to Home Depot we went.... my husband bought a huge length of PVC pipe that's wide enough to enclose the wooden post which will now hold the new bird feeder that he also bought today.  With raccoon-war in mind, my husband also purchased an electrical thing that will give a shock to any adventurous raccoon who dares to climb that PVC pipe to get to the new feeder.

"Does that thing run on batteries?" I wanted to know.

"No... it has to be plugged in," said my husband.

"Is there an electrical outlet in that flowerbed that I don't know about?" said I.

"No... we'll just use one of those long orange extension cords," said my husband.

I resisted the urge to ask him how long an extension cord that would require.  And, of course, I resisted suggesting that wouldn't it be easier just to move the bird feeder?  Or take it into the garage at night?  He was a man on a mission, and once that happens, there's no stopping him.

On the way back from Home Depot, my husband said he forgot to buy Vaseline. "And what are you going to do with that?"  My husband told me that he was going to slather it all over the PVC pipe so the raccoon couldn't shimmy up to get to the feeder.

Well, if that's the plan, then why get an electric-shock device in the first place that may require a two-hundred-foot extension cord going from one side of the backyard to the other?

Men. They make little problems into big problems. Which is why this world is constantly at war in one corner of the planet or the other.