September....

 How did it get to be September already.... seems like just yesterday when I last wrote in here, but it also seems like forever.  Labor Day is over... and I held my breath during that weekend, hoping for not one iota of bad news or tragic surprises. It passed by with barely a whisper. I am thankful for that, but my dreams are still screaming with remorse and guilt and sadness, which will never go away. 

The nightly news continues with more violent protesting, public destruction, fires, killings, and hate. More hate than I ever thought would be possible in this world, in this decade, in this life. Will it ever end?  I don't watch much news now... it is too sad, too predictable even, with the killing and shooting and torching and destruction. Monuments can be repaired, businesses can be rebuilt, roads can be re-paved, but the sense of hatred that has penetrated our society... that is likely to fester and thrive... and one day no one will be able to look at another person without a sense of doubt that can so quickly escalate into actions and words that cannot be erased or forgotten or forgiven. We are all living on such a small planet. In order to thrive, we need our hearts to be as big as the universe. And I just cannot see that happening anytime soon.

I go into town only when I have to... for errands at the post office or the bank or the grocery store. At the order of the state's governor, everyone has to wear a mask. I have my doubts about the effectiveness of these paper-thin and fabric-layered masks. But if I want to buy groceries without getting death-stares from blue-haired old ladies, then on goes the mask just before I enter the store, and then off it comes the very second I go thru the exit door. I'll be damned if I will walk thru the fresh air of a huge parking lot with a mask covering half of my face. As it is, I have often been tempted to wear a Halloween mask or a Mardi Gras mask while picking out plums and spinach and orange juice. But then... just thinking of those death-stares from the old ladies bring me back to what's left of my senses.

In the state of Texas, everyone says hello to strangers and smiles and talks... even if they don't know you as you pass by them on a street or in the aisle of a store. Well, we have kissed those days goodbye during this pandemic. With the mask covering our noses and mouths, who knows who's smiling or not behind these damn masks?  And a pleasant 'Good morning! Isn't this a pretty day!' has become a thing of memory. I miss the days of friendly greetings, warm smiles, and Texans just being Texans and not knowing a stranger from a friend because we all just acknowledged everyone we passed along the way.

This year has gone by so quickly, but not fast enough to suit me. I am hoping for a much better new year come January. Free of manufactured viruses, organized-and-paid-for protests and destruction... a brand new year devoid of angry and unhappy people who seem to hate everything about the country they're living in, which begs the question 'Then why are you in this country? Move out of it!'

I wish that people would realize that hate has never ever solved one single solitary problem in this world, whether personal or organizational or global. Hatred and violence and anger and destruction is not the way a civilized society will thrive on this planet. Which again begs another question.... 'When did we cease being a civilized society? Or maybe we never were?' 

In that case, heaven help us all. (Which, once again, begs the question.... 'Is there really a heaven? Or is this all there is?')