Fried Red Tomatoes

Don't try this at home, kids...

I made fried chicken for my husband's dinner tonight... I don't like fried chicken at all, but my husband does. I made too much breading for the three chicken pieces, so I went looking in the fridge for something else to fry. (Mistake number one.)

Tomatoes.... I had tomatoes in the fridge.  And when we traveled to Savannah, I tried Paula Deen's Fried Green Tomatoes and I loved them. (I do make an exception with some fried foods from time to time.)  So there I was, looking in the fridge with Savannah on my mind, thinking why not just use the fresh tomatoes my husband bought at the Farmers' Market yesterday? (Mistake number two.)

I picked out the firmest tomato that I had, and sliced it up into four thick slices.... breaded them up.... and let the slices fry in the same pan I had just cooked the chicken in.  Within 20 seconds, the juice from that ripe tomato started spattering and flying out from the hot oil in the skillet.  It was somewhat like being shot at with a teeny machine gun and having no place to hide.

Never let it be said that I cringe at a challenge (unless said challenge involves any sort of wildlife critter, scary movie, or outdoor activity).  I stood at my post in front of that skillet, trying to stand as far away from the stove-top as my arm would allow...... and waited for the tomato slices to get brown and crispy.

Please take note:  slices of breaded red tomatoes do not get crispy. They get soggy.

When my husband came downstairs for dinner, I gave him his plate of fried chicken, and then showed him the plate of fried red tomatoes.

"Aren't the tomatoes supposed to be green for that?"  (Details... men can get obsessed with details.)

"I didn't have any green tomatoes," said I.

"Will that work with red ones?" 

"Let's taste them and see," said I. (Mistake number three.)

Please take another note:  slices of fried red tomatoes do not taste very good. Paula Deen would have hit me over the head with her favorite frying pan for what I did to those tomatoes, and I would have been asked to leave Savannah.

And now, please pardon me.... I have to go back downstairs to my kitchen and clean the stove-top, and the entire counter-top as well.  (Can you get oil stains out of a gray cotton top with pretty silver sparkles all over it?  The little oil spatters don't quite match the silver sparkles....)