New Year's Eve

Not even ten o'clock yet....... we usually stay up and watch the ball falling in Times Square (which is much more dramatic than whatever is being done in Houston)..... but that's not happening tonight. It has been a warm and rainy, drippy day...... my husband spent most of the day working to get rid of a virus on his computer (not successful) and I spent much of the day taking down Christmas decorations.  And here comes the question I ask every year after the holidays---- 'Just who in the world put up all of these trees and Santas and angels in the first place?'

One more tree to go.... the big one in the dining room. The edges of the branches have just started to turn brown, the water in the stand is getting ugly (both in looks and aroma), and some of the bubble-lights are now pointing towards the floor instead of the ceiling.  Out it will go.... added to one of the brush piles on the property.  But that's tomorrow's job.

Tonight, as on all New Year's Eves, I get to thinking about people who are no longer here to celebrate the end of the old year and the beginning of the new one.  2013.... and I say this every year also---- I can remember plainly a day when I was in fifth grade and the nun asked us all to figure out how old we would be in the year 2000.  We all looked at one another and made faces........ the year 2000 sounded foreign to us, as if it were a made-up number.  And here we are, in 2013, the year my Aunt Dolly will be 100 years old.  I spoke to her this week..... she sounds the same as she always did... full of life, energy, surprises. 

My husband and I were talking about our wedding dinner, nearly 18 years ago now.  A lot of family and friends who were there have since passed away.... we have a video of that dinner, and we can still see them dancing and smiling and enjoying the day with us.

I think of my friend Fran..... her son sends me photos of his little girl, and in some of the pictures, I can see Fran's expressions.  It still makes me sad that Fran passed away less than a month before her first grandbaby was born...... how she was looking forward to that birth!  And she didn't get to hold that baby girl.  When we went to see Fran's family, I held onto that baby and just kept her in my arms for hours..... not wanting to let her go, as if I were holding her not only for myself, but for Fran as well.

New Year's Eve is a happy time if you're at a party or if your dining room table is filled with friends and family for a special dinner.  For the years when you don't have special plans, it's just another night--- midnight comes, midnight goes, except the calendar changes to a new year instead of just a new month.

There was a movie on last night that I saw just half of...... called, appropriately enough, "New Year's Eve."  I happened to just be switching channels and there it was, with Robert DeNiro on the screen..... and I like his movies, so I started watching..... it was just a cute, happy movie with lots of stars that you would recognize, and it was set in NYC, which made it all the more interesting.  We recorded it yesterday, in the wee hours of the morning because they kept repeating it..... and we were going to watch it tonight, from beginning to end.  That never happened...... the computer virus wore out my husband, plus he was cleaning up all the dust from the 3rd floor, getting ready for the carpet installation on Thursday.  (This week, that 3rd floor will finally be 'the library.')  I will probably watch that movie tomorrow.... it's New Year's Day, and we have nothing else planned........... and I really would like to see the first half of that sweet movie.

Speaking of sweet movies...... we watched "It's a Wonderful Life" a couple of weeks ago...... they always show it before Christmas, and I always like to watch it.  I've been watching that movie since I was a little girl..... and it still makes me cry.  A sweet movie that makes you think..... with a happy ending.  I wish they made more movies like that...... the movie industry is getting more stupid, more violent, more senseless.  When money is the bottom line, everything else goes out the window, I guess.

In the "New Year's Eve" movie, one of the characters asked this question..... "What would you do if you knew you couldn't fail?"   Easy question for me.  I'd write a book. And then another. And another. I'd keep writing until everything that's floating around in my head just lands on paper.  But of course, I'd need someone to cook, to clean, to do laundry, to go grocery shopping, to take care of the cats, and all the other mindless things that go into a normal day.  Oh well. So much for that.  But I still want to watch that movie tomorrow. Or the next day.

My husband's mother used to tell us "No matter what happens in this world, life goes on in a sensible way."  With that in mind, everyone who is in one's life is supposed to be there..... everyone who isn't, for whatever the reason may be, has just gone on to other things, other lives, other realms. There is a reason for everything that happens, even if we can't figure out that reason. We don't have to figure out the reason......... we just have to accept what is.  People will do what they want to do.... you can't change them, you can't fight them, you just have to either accept how they are, or not.  I have long since learned not to judge anyone's feelings or actions.... you never know what a person has gone through before the point which brings them to where their life coincides with your life.  And even if you think you know their history, you have not, have not, actually walked in their shoes, so you really don't have a clue.  I will forever be grateful to Harper Lee's Atticus Finch in "To Kill a Mockingbird," for one of the greatest life lessons given to me via the printed page.

2013. It's going to be a good year..... a great year. 

Christmas night.........

Another Christmas for the memory books....... what started out as a sunny and warm day has turned into a howling windy frigid night here in the hills. We have heaters on, water dripping, pipes wrapped up, and prayers sent up to the angels to keep the well-pump from going bump in the cold dark night.

We had good friends here for Christmas dinner this afternoon........ J&J, and H&K..... and we had a feast spread out on the kitchen island......... a big tossed salad and fresh bread and homemade hummus, baked salmon, smoked turkey, eggplant parmesan, Greek stuffing, mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce.  And I wish I had made baked apples......... my cousin F always makes those and when she tells me about them, I promise myself to do the same, and then I just don't remember.  The baked apples will have to go on my to-do list for our next holiday dinner.  Or any old dinner, really. How can you go wrong with warm baked apples on your plate?

We opened our Treasure Box gifts this morning..... once again, my cousin F has proven herself to be the Treasure Box Queen, filling up those boxes to over-flowing with useful and fun items, everything from hand cream to catnip seeds, from pocket flashlights to Christmas trivia cards.... I lost count of how many little packages my husband and I were unwrapping--- about 15 or 20 for each of us.

After dinner tonight, we had plum pudding.... three hours of mixing, four hours of steaming, and my husband's plum pudding recipe once again was proclaimed the best yet....... we say that every Christmas.  This year's pudding had plums and pecans from our own trees on the property here, so that made it extra special.

Another Christmas in this big old house.... our fourth one here.  Last night, we watched "It's a Wonderful Life," one of my favorite Christmas movies.  It makes me cry each and every time.  The big old house in that film reminds me of this house, although this house was not in disrepair when we moved into it.  We still think of our other house in the old neighborhood......... we think of our friends and neighbors there...... the parties we used to host and the fun we all had.   But we've been here nearly five years now..... we have good friends and neighbors here also...... we've hosted a lot of parties and everyone seems to enjoy them....  this is our home, this is our house, this is where we were meant to be, and I hope this is where we'll stay...... in this big old house with the stained glass windows and the third floor library and the wrap-around porch that goes on forever.

We talked about Gracie today, and how much we still miss that dog..... she's been gone for nearly two and a half years now, and there are times when I feel like she's still sleeping in the middle of the kitchen..... right in the middle so I have to step over her to get from the sink to the fridge.  My husband was looking at Border Collie puppies on a web-site just yesterday...... cute, cute puppies, one of which looked just like our Gracie.  We don't really want to raise another puppy..... what we really would like is to have Gracie back with us.                                                                                               

It's funny with dogs..... they become your children, your life...... so dependent on you, so loyal and loving and trusting. I know that our cats really really like us, but Gracie loved us, especially my husband. She was his dog, without a doubt.  It's hard to lose a dog..... it's a loss that hits you smack between your eyes and stays with you for a good long while.  Even though we had talked about the day coming when Gracie wouldn't be with us any longer, when that day finally came, it was surreal, as if we were floating in air and our feet couldn't touch the ground.

I've always believed that when people die, they just don't go away...... their spirits stay on, close to their family and friends..... sort of checking up on what's going on.  Same with our pets, I believe....... they're here with us, watching us as we go about our days, staying close by at night.  Gracie loved us when she was here with us, so all of that love just couldn't have disappeared with her last breath.

I've read a lot of dog and cat books over the years. A line from one of them said "You have never truly been loved until you've been worshiped by a dog."

Merry Christmas, Gracie........ we still miss you, and we still love you, and we know that you're still here with us.

Lights.... we have lights.....

We have been looking at Christmas lights this week...... huge Christmas displays that charge an admission fee because they're so ornate and over-the-top.   We tried Giddings first, a small camp there that advertised over 800,000 holiday lights.  They did have a lot of lights, but their artistic and creative endeavor was lacking, I'm sorry to say.  There were lights on all the fences and tree trunks, but you can see that anywhere, without having to pay admission.  They had a light-show around the lake at the camp, but the music was uninspiring and somewhat sad.  I want a happy Christmas, not a maudlin Christmas.  They did have a "It's a Wonderful Life" lounge set up, complete with hot chocolate and a continuously running video of that movie, which was a nice touch.  And.... they had just-made kettle corn that was warm and delicious.... so that was the saving grace for Giddings. At least for me.  My husband doesn't like kettle corn, so he wasn't impressed.

Our next adventure, with friends J & J, was to Santa's Wonderland up in College Station.  There is an admission fee per car, and you can have up to 10 people in each car for the same fee.  And lights..... they had LIGHTS.  This display was a drive-thru, with nearly two million lights of every color imaginable...... airplanes and cattle and reindeer, Christmas trees in every color, The Alamo, Santa's toyshop, western boots, a huge 'HOWDY' sign, a 'God Bless Texas' wreath, stars and angels, a manger scene....... Santa and his sleigh gliding across the face of a full moon....... and the music....... happy and lively and Christmas-y....... truly a wonderfully happy display that made you smile wherever you looked.  They also had a Santa-Land that you could walk through, but it was cold last night, and we were all very happy to stay right in the car, thank you very much.

Speaking of Santa..... my husband made a huge painted sign that says "Santa's List," and he put it up at the beginning of our road....... all of the neighbors are listed on the sign, either in the 'Naughty' column or the 'Nice' column.  As our neighbors drive up and down our road here, there's no doubt they'll see it....... we put ourselves in the 'Naughty' column, along with one of the neighbors who will no doubt be happy that she's in that particular column. (I can hear her now: "Well, it's no dang fun being 'nice' all the time!")

Christmas fever has hit this part of the hills...... chocolate candy is being made and put into fancy little Christmas bags, Christmas books are being given out to everyone, from next-door neighbors to the UPS man. We've already had two cold snaps to let us know that even southwest Texas gets a northern blast in the month of December.  But when the sun comes out during the day and it warms up some, the lady-bugs are still flying around in droves, making us believe that Spring is just a heart-beat away.

But first...... Christmas is just around our little corner here.

December.... third week...

Celebrations and tragedy...... all in one week.

We celebrated my husband's birthday this week... going out to a special lunch with good friends in a restaurant adjacent to a gift shop that left no corner without a hint of Christmas.  The trees touched the ceiling, the ornaments were as big as grapefruits... feathers and tinsel and garland.... you name it, and it was on their trees.  Christmas music was playing, people were laughing and enjoying the gourmet menu, and it was just the perfect birthday-day. 

While we waited for our table, we looked at the holiday items in the gift shop.... beautiful things, but attached were downtown-Houston price tags, not suitable at all for this part of the Hill Country.  I didn't see too many shoppers with their arms filled with purchases.  My bet is that they will do what J and I decided to do..... have a look-see after Christmas is over and then buy what we like at sale prices.  The shop had a huge hand-made wood bird cage, complete with two doves (and a little baby dove perched in a nest)..... gorgeous little birds (turtle doves, maybe?).  Of course, that got me to missing my two little parakeets..... both of which are history now, I'm sure.  They wouldn't have survived the worst heat of the late summer and the cold snap we had last week.  I still see a squirrel out on the balcony from time to time, and I have to wonder if he's the same squirrel who opened up the bird cage so he could get the food inside.  And couldn't he have closed the little cage door when he was through eating?

Our Christmas party last weekend was a great success......... talking and laughing and visiting... everyone just enjoying one another's company over food and punch and hot cider and iced tea. Delicious desserts, good food, good company.... and our house filled with one big tree, and 26 table-top trees......... Christmas wherever you looked, starting at the back door and going right up the stairs to the second floor.  When the 3rd floor library is completed, I will have holiday decorations up there as well.  Christmas is Christmas, and you just can't get enough of it. There just always seems to be room for one more little tree and just one more Santa in this big old house.

Our Miss C graduated from college this weekend........ and now she's off on a celebration cruise with a few of her friends.  She'll be gone for a week, and she'll come back tanned and rested and full of stories to tell us when she comes up here for a few days, either just before or just after Christmas. Her gifts are wrapped and waiting for her, and when we find out which days she'll be here, I will put her gifts underneath her favorite silver tree in the living room. 

Speaking of trees... on my husband's birthday, Miss C went to his office and left him a small living Christmas tree, with a note that said "From your Christmas Elf."  Being that my husband had to work on his birthday, he said that the little tree was the highlight of the day.

And...... from celebrations to tragedy....... the shootings at the elementary school in Connecticut.  If there is a definition of obscenely wicked, then that story is it.  I just cannot imagine the horror in that school on that morning, and the terror those children faced, and even the ones who were not in the line of fire will now forever live with that memory.  If I were a parent, I'd be opting for home-schooling right about now.  If your child isn't safe in an elementary school, then where can safety possibly be found?  I am thrilled beyond measure that the shooter took his own life.  I would not have wanted him to be taken to jail, to be defended by the legal system, to have the opportunity to plead insanity...... people who can be that wicked, that evil, have no place on this planet, in my opinion. Your heart has to go out to the families, to the town, to everyone there...... a small picture-postcard town like that, and the children aren't safe.

We are becoming, have become,  a violent society, with distant hidden pockets of peacefulness.  My New York cousins tell me that we're living in a quiet little bubble up here in the hills.  And we are, without a doubt.  My wish for everyone, especially for parents of small children, is that they find their own little bubbles of peace.

December.... second week....

... and this month goes marching along like those little wooden toy soldiers.  December always seems to be the shortest month of the year.  Maybe because it gets dark earlier with the time change, and half the day is lost in the moon-light. ("Lost in The Moon-light"--- now that could be a country/western song title.)

We had our Christmas party this past weekend..... friends, neighbors..... whoever could be here was here. There seemed to be non-stop talking and laughing and visiting.... and with tables set up in both the living room and the dining room, everyone sort of went from table to table, from chair to chair, not wanting to miss out spending time with every single person.  We had Christmas music playing in the background..... carefully chosen songs that my husband down-loaded.... nothing too sad, nothing that would make anyone wistful..... just happy songs.  Have a holly jolly Christmas....

Speaking of Christmas, I've noticed that not everyone is saying "Merry Christmas" these days.... "Happy Holiday" seems to be more politically correct..... and I hate that particular phrase more than anything.  Politicans are never politically correct, so why should the rest of country strive to that level?  Merry Christmas is what always worked in this country before, and I don't see any reason to do away with it.  There have always been people in this world who don't celebrate Christmas, and that's fine for them....... but does Merry Christmas have to be taken away from those who do celebrate December 25th?   Give me a blessed break.

This week is my husband's birthday..... I wanted to make a birthday cake today, since he'll be working on his actual birthday-date........ so I made his favorite, a carrot cake.  I have used that same recipe dozens of times, with delicious results. Not so this morning.  Instead of two layers of carrot cake, I was looking at two large brown hockey pucks studded with carrots and raisins and pineapple.  If I still had the chickens, I would have given those flat layers to the hens.  It killed me to toss all those baked ingredients into the trash....... but they weren't birthday-cake worthy.

The next cake came out better...... one layer instead of two..... with cream-cheese frosting. A good cake, but not the best carrot cake I've ever made.  I have no idea what happened with the first cake........ but thankfully the second one made it onto the cake pedestal. It looked like a happy cake with the decorations on it.  My husband is very particular about the taste of carrot cakes, since that's his favorite cake, and we've had some of the best ones in our travels.

This morning, however, I think I was more upset about the cake than I expected him to be....... he told me that he has a new perspective on such things since our neighbor's wife passed away a couple of weeks ago.  My husband said it didn't matter what the cake tasted like..... what mattered was that I was here to bake it for him.  (Yet another reason to bake the perfect cake.)

Our sunny and warm days have disappeared for a couple of days..... cold all day today, with non-stop winds.  Didn't go walking this morning, and by the time it warmed up a little bit in the afternoon, I had a cake to frost, ironing to do, soup to cook for dinner........ if walking doesn't get done first thing in the morning, the rest of the day just swallows up the time.

December, first week.

Let's see...... there are hundreds of thousands of lady-bugs flying around outside, the antique roses are in bloom between the cottage and the barn, we're enjoying sunny 80-degree Spring-like days, and I've nearly killed myself trying to make the Christmas tree in our dining room look like a tree I saw in one of my Christmas magazines.  Note to self, and to those otherwise interested:  Christmas magazines can be hazardous to one's health.

The onslaught of the lady-bugs started on the day my husband brought home the antique Oriental desk.... millions of lady-bugs all over the front porch columns, all over the front door.... it looked as if the front of the house was covered in polka-dots.  I sprayed the front door with Bengal Gold (the best bug-spray you can buy without a prescription) and, I'm sorry to say, there were lots of dead lady-bugs. (I've since learned they're really some kind of Asian beetle, but they sort of resemble lady-bugs with the dots on their backs, but the bugs are more orange than red.)  These bugs are also all over the porches of friends up and down this road..... every one of us thought we had cornered the lady-bug market till we started asking around.

The weather has been so glorious that all the antique roses are in bloom again..... I'm thinking of cutting bunches of those red roses and laying them on the branches of the big Christmas tree.... (yet another magazine page; another recipe for possible disaster).

Killing myself........ we put up the big tree over the weekend.  My husband did the lights, and that one-inch-from-the-ceiling Noble Fir is filled with vintage figural and bubble-lights. I did all the ornaments.... a couple of hundred blown-glass confections, some very old, some new-but-looking-vintage....... no tinsel, no garland.... but wide red and gold ribbons, cut into foot-long strips and they're peeking out from just beyond the tips of the branches. If a ribbon could dance on a tree, that's what it would look like.

However....... when I thought I was finished with the peeking-out strips of ribbons, I noticed one branch near the top of the that ten-foot tree... it was ribbon-less.  Can't have that, now can we?  I cut one more strip of ribbon, got back up on the little step-stool..... and down I came, taking three glass ornaments with me (the one landing on the wood floor shattered, the two that landed on the tree-skirt survived).  Along with the three ornaments that came off the tree, most of those perfectly placed ribbon strips fell to the floor as well.  I landed on the area rug, a nice thick wool, but still, when you fall more than six inches, you're going to feel the hardness of the floor beneath the rug.  I think the stool hit me on the shin of my left leg and the back of the knee on my right leg.... both spots are sporting little bumps and will probably turn black and blue just in time for our Christmas party.

I sat there on the floor yelling out for my husband....... he was in the garage, cleaning and sorting and organizing, in hopes of being on Santa's Good List.  As always, when I'm screaming because of bugs or snakes or mishaps of any kind--- no one hears me.  I've told my husband that the words on my headstone should read "I guess you didn't hear me screaming."-- which is what I've always said to him when I pick myself up, or gather my wits about me after a snake sighting or a country-calamity of some sort.

I think I was more upset about the broken ornament and the scattered ribbons this morning than I was about falling off of the step-stool.  As I sat there trying to make sure that I hadn't broken a leg or an arm, I had this glorious oh-my-moment about my character.... what will eventually end my life on this planet will be my desire to make everything in my little corner of the world as perfectly perfect as it can possibly be.  (As in...... She died suddenly and tragically because one branch of her Christmas tree was ribbon-less, poor thing.)

And, of course, as soon as I realized that none of my bones were broken, I got out the vacuum cleaner to take away the shattered remnants of that ornament, plus the hundreds of little needles that came off the tree branch that I must have grabbed on the way towards the floor..... and then I put back all those ribbons, including the one that was missing from that branch near the top.  My little corner of the world is once again perfectly perfect, except for the black and blue bumps on each of my legs.