New Year's Eve

Not even ten o'clock yet....... we usually stay up and watch the ball falling in Times Square (which is much more dramatic than whatever is being done in Houston)..... but that's not happening tonight. It has been a warm and rainy, drippy day...... my husband spent most of the day working to get rid of a virus on his computer (not successful) and I spent much of the day taking down Christmas decorations.  And here comes the question I ask every year after the holidays---- 'Just who in the world put up all of these trees and Santas and angels in the first place?'

One more tree to go.... the big one in the dining room. The edges of the branches have just started to turn brown, the water in the stand is getting ugly (both in looks and aroma), and some of the bubble-lights are now pointing towards the floor instead of the ceiling.  Out it will go.... added to one of the brush piles on the property.  But that's tomorrow's job.

Tonight, as on all New Year's Eves, I get to thinking about people who are no longer here to celebrate the end of the old year and the beginning of the new one.  2013.... and I say this every year also---- I can remember plainly a day when I was in fifth grade and the nun asked us all to figure out how old we would be in the year 2000.  We all looked at one another and made faces........ the year 2000 sounded foreign to us, as if it were a made-up number.  And here we are, in 2013, the year my Aunt Dolly will be 100 years old.  I spoke to her this week..... she sounds the same as she always did... full of life, energy, surprises. 

My husband and I were talking about our wedding dinner, nearly 18 years ago now.  A lot of family and friends who were there have since passed away.... we have a video of that dinner, and we can still see them dancing and smiling and enjoying the day with us.

I think of my friend Fran..... her son sends me photos of his little girl, and in some of the pictures, I can see Fran's expressions.  It still makes me sad that Fran passed away less than a month before her first grandbaby was born...... how she was looking forward to that birth!  And she didn't get to hold that baby girl.  When we went to see Fran's family, I held onto that baby and just kept her in my arms for hours..... not wanting to let her go, as if I were holding her not only for myself, but for Fran as well.

New Year's Eve is a happy time if you're at a party or if your dining room table is filled with friends and family for a special dinner.  For the years when you don't have special plans, it's just another night--- midnight comes, midnight goes, except the calendar changes to a new year instead of just a new month.

There was a movie on last night that I saw just half of...... called, appropriately enough, "New Year's Eve."  I happened to just be switching channels and there it was, with Robert DeNiro on the screen..... and I like his movies, so I started watching..... it was just a cute, happy movie with lots of stars that you would recognize, and it was set in NYC, which made it all the more interesting.  We recorded it yesterday, in the wee hours of the morning because they kept repeating it..... and we were going to watch it tonight, from beginning to end.  That never happened...... the computer virus wore out my husband, plus he was cleaning up all the dust from the 3rd floor, getting ready for the carpet installation on Thursday.  (This week, that 3rd floor will finally be 'the library.')  I will probably watch that movie tomorrow.... it's New Year's Day, and we have nothing else planned........... and I really would like to see the first half of that sweet movie.

Speaking of sweet movies...... we watched "It's a Wonderful Life" a couple of weeks ago...... they always show it before Christmas, and I always like to watch it.  I've been watching that movie since I was a little girl..... and it still makes me cry.  A sweet movie that makes you think..... with a happy ending.  I wish they made more movies like that...... the movie industry is getting more stupid, more violent, more senseless.  When money is the bottom line, everything else goes out the window, I guess.

In the "New Year's Eve" movie, one of the characters asked this question..... "What would you do if you knew you couldn't fail?"   Easy question for me.  I'd write a book. And then another. And another. I'd keep writing until everything that's floating around in my head just lands on paper.  But of course, I'd need someone to cook, to clean, to do laundry, to go grocery shopping, to take care of the cats, and all the other mindless things that go into a normal day.  Oh well. So much for that.  But I still want to watch that movie tomorrow. Or the next day.

My husband's mother used to tell us "No matter what happens in this world, life goes on in a sensible way."  With that in mind, everyone who is in one's life is supposed to be there..... everyone who isn't, for whatever the reason may be, has just gone on to other things, other lives, other realms. There is a reason for everything that happens, even if we can't figure out that reason. We don't have to figure out the reason......... we just have to accept what is.  People will do what they want to do.... you can't change them, you can't fight them, you just have to either accept how they are, or not.  I have long since learned not to judge anyone's feelings or actions.... you never know what a person has gone through before the point which brings them to where their life coincides with your life.  And even if you think you know their history, you have not, have not, actually walked in their shoes, so you really don't have a clue.  I will forever be grateful to Harper Lee's Atticus Finch in "To Kill a Mockingbird," for one of the greatest life lessons given to me via the printed page.

2013. It's going to be a good year..... a great year.