Dreaming of AngelBoy.

I woke up this morning expecting to find that blue-eyed AngelBoy cat of mine cuddled up in my arms. My dream of him was so vivid and so real that I could actually feel his long fluffy fur in my hands as I was waking up. When I realized that it had all been a dream, I could have cried.

It has been nearly eight months now since we brought that cat to the vet to be put to sleep, and hardly a week goes by that I don't think of him or see those blue eyes of his right in front of me. Regardless of AngelBoy's countless in-house accidents over the years, he was still a special cat. Nearly everyone who looked into his eyes made more or less the same comment: "Those eyes of his makes AngelBoy look like there's a little person living inside of him." AngelBoy's blue eyes could be warm and loving and grateful, or they could turn hard and spiteful and downright cold.

I remember a time when our friend K came to our house for lunch and AngelBoy walked right up to her chair in the dining room and put his paws on her legs as he tried to get a closer look at her. Other than his closeness to my dad when he was a kitten, AngelBoy just wasn't interested in being a touchy-feely cat with anyone other than me. But there went AngelBoy that day, to practically put his nose up against K's face and the first thing she said was "You are such a precious beautiful cat, AngelBoy.... does everyone realize how sensitive you are?"

That comment from anyone other than K wouldn't have meant much, but K is super-sensitive herself to her surroundings and the people in it. K can see and "read" people's auras, and she is totally in tune with every living thing around her. She told us that she immediately sensed AngelBoy's innate sensitivity and could see a sparkling aura surrounding that blue-eyed cat of ours. He was, indeed, a different sort of cat. If he saw someone he truly didn't like, AngelBoy would scrunch up his face at them and you immediately knew he wasn't pleased with being in the same room with them. AngelBoy could pick out a non-cat person within three seconds.

When AngelBoy was less than a year old, my father came down to Texas and lived with us for six months. He immediately liked AngelBoy and the first thing he said was "That cat has blue eyes like Frank Sinatra." AngelBoy liked my dad as well and would carry his toys to him and they would play for a good long while, till either my dad tired AngelBoy out, or vice versa. Daddy made AngelBoy a toy with a red and white checked ribbon tied to a white shoelace. That became AngelBoy's favorite toy and he would carry it all over the house with him. My father couldn't even go into the bathroom without AngelBoy following him in there. When Daddy went back to NY, AngelBoy would bring that red ribbon toy to me and expect me to play with him for as long a time as my father did. But I had meals to cook, laundry to do, a house to clean, groceries to shop for-- how could I play that long with a red ribbon tied to a shoelace? But AngelBoy stayed close to me always, made sure everyone knew that I was his person, but I did wonder from time to time if he missed my father playing with him for hours on end. The red ribbon and the shoelace--- it was AngelBoy's favorite toy for all of his days... the red had faded, the shoelace had frayed, but he loved it just the same as the day daddy made it for him.

So there I was this morning, just waking up from my dream.... the room was so bright with sunlight that I thought AngelBoy was sitting in the sun and that's why I couldn't see him right away. Within just a few seconds, though, my wide-awake brain kicked in and I realized it had just been a dream and that's why my arms weren't filled with his long silver-gray tipped fur and I really hadn't been mesmerized by those blue cat-eyes of his. As I woke up, I heard myself telling my husband AngelBoy was here. I know he was here. I felt his fur. I honestly felt his fur.

It was a rude awakening. I still miss that cat, and I still wonder who could have been living behind those blue eyes of his that could either melt your heart or turn it to stone.