Warm, warm, warm... and Shopping 101.

Absolutely beautiful day. In less than 48 hours, we went from winter to summer. As they always say in this state-- "If you don't like the weather, stick around and it will change in fifteen minutes."

Speaking of change..... yesterday my husband told me that he was thinking of going shopping for some new clothes. And no, he didn't have to pick me up off the floor when he said the words go shopping. I told him I thought that was a great idea, but then I didn't think anything more about it because he's had that thought before and then he just didn't get around to it.

This morning, however, he said it was a good day to go out shopping, and then go out to lunch. And where did he want to go shopping? "The Men's Wearhouse." I was thrilled at that idea, since going shopping in a mall with a man who doesn't really like to shop is like going into a maze that has thirty-seven entrances and not one exit. Too many stores in a mall for a man who doesn't shop on a regular basis. They get overwhelmed and over-shopped within forty minutes.

But Men's Wearhouse is a store just for men. We hadn't been to this one here before, but I had great hopes. During the drive there, I was praying for a salesperson who wasn't too pushy, who would listen to what my husband was wanting to buy, and help him find more than what he was looking for so he would have a choice.

And the heavens opened up and sent us an angel named G. Soft-spoken, efficient, confident. She listened, she measured, and within minutes my husband was looking at more than fifty choices of sports jackets and at least forty choices of slacks. When G thought something wasn't fitting as well as it should, she quietly suggested something else, which turned out to be a better choice. (That seemed to work much better with him than me standing there and rolling my eyes towards the ceiling as I say "You're not really going to wear that, are you?")

After my husband picked out two great sports jackets and three pairs of slacks, G asked him if he needed shirts and ties. He was about to say no, and he looked at me-- and I guess I had a look on my face that said If you don't buy new shirts to go with these jackets, I'm going to hold my breath till I turn blue.... so he told G he would be happy to look at some shirts.

Within three minutes, an impeccably-dressed salesman looked at the jackets and slacks my husband was buying and he spread out six shirts and twelve ties on a counter and showed my husband which ties and shirts would look best with his new jackets. The shirts were all 100% cotton and fit my husband as if they'd been tailor-made just for him. Plus, the shirts and ties were in a classic, conservative style which my husband likes--- nothing edgy, nothing retro, nothing ridiculous.

I could have danced around that store. Without a doubt, it was the best shopping experience we've ever had when my husband has gone out looking for new clothes. To prove that point, on the way to lunch, my husband asked me if I would help him go through his closet and "eliminate a few things." (I resisted the urge to tell him to just toss a grenade in there and shut the door so we could start from scratch.) "Of course," said I--- "I would be happy to do that."

And that's what we did---- and my husband was without mercy as he looked at each and every single thing in his closet. Two hours later, we had six huge piles of clothes that I will take to the local church for their "Free Clothes Closet." Slacks that no longer hold a crease, dress shirts with slightly frayed collars and/or cuffs, ten-year-old tee-shirts, ties that hadn't seen the light of day since 1976, belts without a hint of leather in them, sweaters too heavy for Texas and not heavy enough for Alaska. Out, out, out, all of that stuff... I am personally bringing them to the church tomorrow morning.

One of the best parts about Men's Wearhouse--- they give you a plastic card with a number on it. Whatever you buy in there gets swiped onto your card, and when you spend over $500, they send you a certificate good for $50-worth of their clothes. Now if that isn't an incentive to shop, I don't know what is.

I told the saleswoman G that the store makes it so simple for a man to look great from head to toe-- they sell socks and shoes as well, for goodness sake, and the salesmen line up everything on those counters and put all the outfits together for the guys. Now, honestly-- can it get any easier to look like you just stepped out of GQ magazine? (Do they still publish GQ?) And I forgot to mention that while my husband was picking out the shirts and ties, the tailor was in the back room hemming up the slacks he had picked out. What a great store.

Today's shopping adventure not only resulted in some new clothes for my husband, but it got him to look at everything in his closet-- and precious little of what was in there measured up to what he bought today at Men's Wearhouse. The only survivors were the newest shirts that I had picked up for him during the past six or seven months and a few new ties that he had bought within the last couple of years.... everything else went into the donation bags. There is, indeed, a god. (And his name is George-- the owner of Men's Wearhouse.)


Speaking of survivors----- we went to Joe's BBQ out in Alvin for lunch today. It's a huge two-story rustic barn of a restaurant, and its decor is strictly Texan, with huge moose-heads, deer-heads and steer-heads mounted on the walls from one end of the restaurant to the other. In the back room of Joe's, the walls are filled with signed posters of baseball-great Nolan Ryan, who grew up in (and still lives in) Alvin. While we were waiting on line to order our lunch today, we noticed a sign hanging up by the salad bar. The sign didn't look too new, so I guess it had been there all along and we've just missed it----- "No trespassing. Trespassers will be shot. Survivors will be shot again."