Guinea Hens.

I am ready to set the Guinea Hens free..... free.... free. But at least now I know why they were giving us so much trouble, both getting into the coop and getting out of the coop. The least little thing sets them off, including the open gate of the coop, and the closed gate of the coop.

A little lesson on Guinea Hens. They are not chickens, which we knew from the start. They eat more bugs, which we learned just tonight. They do not like being in the coop with the chickens, and the chickens don't particularly want them in their coop either. Our chickens were being very nice and gracious and friendly this past week, letting the Guinea Hens share their space in The Coopacabana.

This evening, about twenty minutes before "The Amazing Race" was due to start, I thought it was time to get the chickens into the coop. Two of them were already in there-- Henny Penny and Audrey, and when Dolly saw me coming out into the courtyard and walking towards the coop, she started clucking and walking ahead of me and put herself into the coop with the two others. She is positively my favorite one.

That left Edie and Jaye, and the two Guinea hens. I started calling out to Jaye-Bird, and she looked at me, then looked at the others in the coop, and off she went, straight through the puddles and into the coop, followed closely by Edie. The chickens just know when it's time for the coop, and off they go, with just a minimum of fuss, usually none at all.

The Guinea Hens, Jeanie and Dottie, have other ideas, and minds of their own. You want us to get in there? With them? Tonight, the more I walked behind those two birds, the faster they ran, and they weren't walking towards the coop, they were walking everywhere but the coop. I got a plastic rake from the garage, and I tried using that to steer them towards the coop. That idea worked with Jeanie, the larger Guinea Hen, but it didn't do anything for Dottie, the smaller one. However, as soon as I got Jeanie to get herself to the gate of the coop, she got frightened when I opened the gate and she flew off into the courtyard, which frightened the other Guinea hen, and then they both ran underneath the Cottage.

Fine. Stay there. I'm going to watch The Amazing Race. Except I had visions of a raccoon coming along in the night and tearing them apart, wing by wing. So I kept trying... and then my husband tried.... he got the garden hose out and sprayed near the spot under the Cottage where they were hiding. Out came Jeanie.... and she walked towards the coop, and I had the gate opened, and in she went, stumbling and cooing all the way. After another half hour with the hose, the rake, the flashlight, a broom pole...... we got Dottie into the coop as well.

By the time that was done, our feet were soaking wet-- with all the rain today, the yard was just filled with puddles. My husband looked at me and said he felt like we were in the middle of a bizarre reality show. We both knew we were too late to watch The Amazing Race at that point.

Then our neighbor D drove over in his golf-cart, and I asked him about the Guinea Hens. Was there a trick to getting them into the coop? Rule #1 with the Guinea Hens-- they don't like to be in the coop with the chickens. They prefer to roost up in the trees, or under our Cottage, and D said that if they're stupid enough to let a raccoon get them, well so be it. "They won't do that again," he said. Indeed.

Rule #1 around here now is that we're not chasing Guinea Hens again. If it were up to me, I'd be bringing those two birds back to the chicken farmer and trading them both in for one chicken. Even though D said the Guinea Hens will eat more bugs than the chickens, I'd rather not have stupid birds around here getting scared of every noise and quick movement because they're scaring the chickens. So if the Guinea Hens don't bring themselves into the coop when the chickens go in for the night, then they can just find sleeping spots for themselves outside the coop.

I am so glad that it wasn't me who picked out those Guinea Hens at the chicken farm.... my husband would be saying to me "Just look at those birds of yours......"